After talking to my friend Jayne Bowman, who has her own Christian counseling practice at www.real–soulutions.com, I felt like I should include some “Truth to Say” here that may help you respond in a godly way when a gay person expresses how they feel to you. It is not so much what you say, but how you say it, so be kind and caring.
Deception: Many homosexuals think: “I have had these homosexual feelings for so long. I think that I was born this way. I think that God made me this way.”
Truth to Say: Despite the media’s spin, scientifically there is no evidence for a gay gene. Actually, psychologists say that your sexual identity is socially developed. During the ages of three to about twelve when boys play with boys, their sexual identity is developed. They look to men as role models. After boys go through puberty, their sexual hormones kick in and they start liking girls. If a boy’s sexual identity is not developed by then, they can turn to homosexuality because they are looking to bond with men and fill a void that was never fulfilled in their early years. Why would God create something that He calls an abomination?
Deception: Many homosexuals think: “I‘m not hurting anyone. My gay partner is consenting. So why should it matter?”
Truth to Say: You think that you are not hurting anyone, but how do you know? Many people thought that saccharine was OK, but then they found out years later that it causes cancer. God designed your body to need food and water. If you don’t eat food or drink water for eight days, you will die. God designed the human body so that a man and woman could have sexual intercourse to produce children. If they don’t, the whole human race will die. God did not design the body to be used for homosexual activity. He calls it sin. If you continue in this sinful lifestyle and do not repent of it, you may not die physically, but you will die spiritually. In fact, many homosexuals get AIDS, so they may actually die physically as well, but if they repent before they die and get saved, then they will go to heaven. You may not think you are hurting anyone on this earth, but you are hurting God Who is in heaven. You are building a wall between you and God. and turning your back on Him. When you sin and do not repent, it makes God sad because He sent His Son Jesus so that you could be set free and healed. He also knows that if you do not repent and truly want to be delivered and healed, then you will go to hell and suffer great pain and torment for all eternity. You asked me why it matters. Well, your eternal destiny matters. It matters to me and it matters to God.
Deception: Many homosexuals think: “These homosexual feelings are real. Since they feel so real, then they must be good. They must be right.”
Truth to Say: Well, let me ask you…Have you ever cut your hand with a knife? What it a good feeling? Have you ever hated anyone? Was that a right feeling? Just because you feel or think something doesn’t mean it is true or right. You need to know the difference between what the Bible says about you and what you may think or feel. In Romans 7:23 the Bible says that the spirit wars against the mind (or flesh). Your spirit can tell you one thing and your mind will tell you another. So we have to learn to sever (discern) between the flesh and the spirit (Hebrews 4:12).
Deception: When you hear a struggling homosexual say: “So, how can I be set free? I don’t know how to not feel what I feel. I don’t think that I can change.
Truth to Say: If you sincerely want to change, God will help you change! God can deliver you from these feelings and from this lifestyle and He wants to. First of all, you need to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Surrender your life to Him. Then you need to renew your mind with the Word of God everyday to break the lies of the enemy. It is a process. It is a fight of faith. You have to really WANT to change. You cannot be half-hearted about it. You also need to totally forgive your father who you feel rejected you; forgive whoever abused you, hurt you, or called you names at school. Forgive them all and put them in God’s hands because Romans 12:19 says, “Beloved, avenge not yourselves (have no unforgiveness to anyone nor seek revenge). Vengeance is the Lord’s and He will repay.” God will right the wrongs that have been done to you. All the lies that were planted in your heart early on need to be uprooted and the truth of God’s Word needs to be planted in. You need to renounce any negative words spoken over you and confess the truth of God’s Word over yourself as to who you are in Christ. You also need to believe and receive God’s love – the height, depth, width and length of the love that He has for you (Ephesians 3:18) through reading the Word and anointed praise & worship music, etc. Then you need to understand the power of prayer and the authority that you have in Christ Jesus. You have authority to bind the homosexual feelings using the name of Jesus Christ. And you have the authority to loose upon yourself the spirit of purity and holiness and freedom in Jesus’ name. (2 Corinthians 10:4–5). I would encourage you to study “the authority of the believer” which you have in Christ to bind and loose and cast out demons in the powerful name of Jesus Christ.